Who Is The Other Woman? Understanding Women Involved With A Committed Partner
Posted: Friday, May 18, 2007
by Melody Roberts
The Other Woman
Slut! Tramp! Homewrecker! These are all words that we hear whenever the subject of the other woman comes up. You know who we mean. That's the woman who ends up in a relationship with a man who is committed elsewhere. Yet those terms do not do justice to the complexity of the situation. Things are never black and white, especially not in this situation. While people think the other woman has no morals and no values, they have no idea what goes on in her head. And they have absolutely no idea why she is involved with a committed partner.
Is Love A Crime?
But is she really? What's her crime? Only falling in love - something that people do every day all around the world. And let's not forget that there are two people in every relationship, so why blame the woman alone? After all, in many cases she's not the one who's stepping out on an existing relationship. Generally, she is in love with her man and that's why she's in a relationship with him.
Think for a minute about the man in all this. He is the one who is in a committed relationship which he is wrecking. He is the one who is lying and deceiving. If anyone should be called a homewrecker, it's him.
When women start relationships with a committed partner, they very rarely know that he is otherwise engaged. He will woo them and pursue them and make them feel like the only woman for him. By the time they discover the truth they can be in too deep.
The thing is that the man says all the right things. Even if he acknowledges that he has another commitment he is always on the verge of leaving, separated, going through a divorce, desperately unhappy, lonely or in any one of hundreds of situations which make the other woman feel there's hope.
Victims Of Thrillseekers
While many men lie about their situation and make their wives out to be demons to lure the other woman into a relationship, much of the time they are in happy, healthy relationships. They're just bored - and they want the fun of having their cake and eating it too. It's not so much about the sex as about the thrill.
Married men will say just about anything to keep that thrill going, even promising to leave their wives. If they don't promise this, it's because they have kids who are keeping them at home. All of these are plausible excuses which the besotted other woman is happy to hear. But unfortunately, these excuses are just a tissue of lies. Only 10% of married men actually leave their wives and family for the other woman.
Sometimes the other woman is also a thrill seeker, but in the long run many other women realize that the relationship has no future and manage to end it. This often happens at great cost to their reputations and careers. And the committed man? He can go back home to his wife.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)I'm sick of reading about all the manipulated affair partners. The instances of predatory, female homewreckers is under-represented. As a curious betrayed wife, I've browsed forums such as "being the Other Woman", and the like. They are full of posts describing how to manipulate the married boyfriend into believing you are a perfect woman, and how much happier you will make him, all the while knowing his wife doesn't even know she's in a "competition". Dare I say often troubled, or tempted, married men wind up being manipulated by The Other Woman.
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